Maddy: Life of a Beach Bum & Bikini Babe Wannabe!

Performance appraisal at work..Now it is a pretty common trend that bosses does performance appraisal on their staff..Is performance appraisal a good thing? Some might feel that “Hey its good to be appraised at work since i can learn from my mistakes etc..” Some might felt “Hey i hate performance appraisal since this means that i will get scolded etc..” Well, i believe the latter would happen to those who totally sucked at work! ahah..:P Am not sayin its all that bad..probably just peeps who aint performing too well at work and they will hate appraisal..

I had mine today..well, it was not all that bad as i thought it was but oh well, i didnt really have much -ve thots about it coz am pretty satisfied with my performance at work..:P BUt well, my GM did tell me some faults with me..being young etc..i guess you will tend to show your feelings esp when you are unhappy about something or stuff..is that true or it jus applies to me? Hmmmm….probably showing what you feel is good at times but not really at other times..ahah..oh well, i kinda like appraisal tho..It kinda make me learnt from my mistakes and also what i had done wrong or good which i can improve on..I dont knw what some peeps just hate it but to me, it seems like a pretty normal thing..Probably i’m those more of a confrontation kinda of peeps where i like to be told off etc..so its different..ehee..i guess this happens in my relationship as well..ahah..used to tell my ex-bf off when im unhappy with him or stuff..

Appraisal aint that bad if you look at it from another view..dont take it all -ve..see it as something which you can learnt from mistakes etc..it will just make you a betta person..:)

Today is Thursday and i’m kinda feeling much betta already..:) Kinda thought things through and felt that there are things in this world just aint worth crying abt..Sometimes life just gets to you in the most funny way ever..And sometimes you wonder..”Why is this happening to me??” I guess i was feelin sorta that way over the past few days..*sighs* I guess everyone jus has that moment in life..and sometimes it just really totally gets to you..this kinda sucks but that’s way life is..I still wonder “Why is this happening to me??” but not so much high of that percentage now…Is life that bad? Maybe it is..Maybe it is not..I gues everyone is this world has some problems or so at some point in their life..probably you are just runnin from it..denyin yourself from the problem..or simply doesnt even bother..But hey being around with people does help to make things a bit better..:) Not saying that you would have to talk to any particular one about your problem but simply being around with people..it makes things all betta..thats how i felt when i went to work on Monday..somehow being with my funny colleagues kinda make me feel hell-a-lot betta..:) Thanks guys! You probably wouldnt see this but hey you guys really make me feel much better as compared to me being all alone…:( hehe..:P Now i shall carry on wth life..I will try to live life the way as before..picking up the pieces is hard…but i will try…

“Will i ever b the same again??” This is one question which i posed to myself these days…Hurt..Been hurt to the extreme that things, perspectives and emotions about things are different..why do this shit has to happen to me?? Every day i wonder about this question…do i even care what is happening ard me? or whoever is caring abt me? I used to have someone who cared for me but i totally shut him out of my life..and even pushed him out…no one should b there to go thru the shit which am goin thru..no one at all..i should b there to undergo all the shit on my own and why should i even dragged another person with me…but am i right in thinkin so? Am i being almighty to think that i can take this shit on my own? I dont know..and i might never know..why is this happenin to me? I blame that fateful day where he has hurt me deeply which changed every thing in my life…From that moment onwards…things are different..life is different…perspective is different…”Will i ever be the same again??” I am still asking myself that till this point…

Trying something new on a Sunday nite..was reading through two of my frens’ blogs and decide to post some of mine thots online as well..Gosh..feelin so sucky these days..am resenting to myself these days on why guys these days are so different from back when they are so innocent? Or should i say when i was innocent? Hah! I have no idea but well, seriously these days there are just so many players around…which is kinda scary..hmm..probablly the times have changed or its just the mentality that the folks outta there have..they kinda felt that it is better to just test the field..hit and run than to avoid all the commitments and shit..This is seriously scary…:( Always thinkin to myself that “Oh yea, he must be the one whom i can trust my heart with..” but well, look what happened in the end..somehow i end up gettin my fingers burnt yet again…which kinda sucks..i hate it! I hate the feelin of gettin my fingers burnt all the time..i will always remember what one of my gfs said, “Those players can always make you fall..but when you do, they will never be there to catch you..” This is a phrase which is true! *sighs*