Maddy: Life of a Beach Bum & Bikini Babe Wannabe!

ITS APRIL AND THIS MEANS THAT MY BABY WILL BE BACK IN 15 DAYS!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm..even though i do not stand as much place as his car..but hey…BABY I MISS YOU!!!!

* MUAKS!! *

It is 7.28pm on a Saturday…and i am at home right now typing on my trusty iBook…Hmm..just realize havent been logging onto this online journal for a few weeks? Well, the reason behind that i am currently busy preparing for these 2 conferences that are coming up end of April..and gosh…there are just tons and tons of preparation to be done! Hmm..there are 2 overall-in-charge for these 2 conferences but somehow i felt that i am in this all alone…as they are often busy with their sales functions..so basically i have to make sure that everything is on track and on the day itself everything runs well! hmm..am kinda worried really..Was just worried what if i screw things up or miss out certain shit and thats it for me man..ahaha..:P

And beginning of this week, my company HR department issues an email out banning all MSN in the office! Gosh..kinda felt that my company is becoming more and more like those GLC!!! Goodnes…well, we did have some huge investors who invested in the company..so somehow we are growing..so that means more red tapes in place!! Hey i wont be surprised if one day i would need a password to log onto the web!!! ;P Seriously i have no issue with banning MSN in the office since i dont really log on these days at work coz am jus so busy with work that i find MSN kinda disturbing..

Alrightys, i have lost my writting inspiration..so i shall just stop here…;P

Had a few frens asking me to party last nite..St James..Zouk…but dint go…firstly coz i was broke..secondly..my baby is not around…thirdly….i have to go to Sentosa this morning..fourth…none of my gal frens want to party last nite…But well, was thinking i should behave myself when my baby is not around..ahaha..;P

But am glad that i din go since i managed to catch my baby on MSN last nite..;) My dear boy was back from his 2 days outfield and boy did he sounded so tired last nite when he called me about 7pm…Feel so pitiful for him..Dint really get to talk much to him on the phone as he told me that there was queue waiting to use the public phone..so we kinda hung up after 5 minutes..gosh..this does feel like thsoe army shows which i watched back when i was younger where mobile phones were not a thang then..and there was like a super long q at the public phone in those army camps..i guess the scenario is like that back in my B’s camp! hehe..;P So army daze!!

But am so glad that i managed to talk to him for quite some time over MSN! Technology! Dont you just love them?! And finally he was the first one to tell me that he miss me sooo much!! am just so glad to see that liner in the message box..was feeling that i was not missed as much i miss him by him…so when he said that i was so glad!! And not like those i say back coz you said it..i can really feel the missing there..and the messages that come after that just warms my heart..:) And me being Miss Cheeky started typing some cheeky messages that he had to tell me to stop that otherwise he would be so teased by his campmates who are lotiering right behind him! ahah..seriously i dont know how that computer room looks like but can imagine it is kinda an open space where people can see your screen? ahaha..I got him there!

Well, only a week has passed and we still have a month to go before we see each other…sighs..time seems to have stagnant and not fly..but i am looking towards end of the month..coz that would mean that April is coming and my B will be returning back to me again!!

Finally got back to work after 2 days mc and gosh were there tons of stuff to clear and do!! So is it a good thing that i was on MC? Seriously i dont think so..though i spent these past 2 days slacking at home..doing nothing except sleep, eat and laze around…and also worry about my conference stuff that i have yet to do!! Gosh!! Oh well, getting back to work is reality…so that sucks!

Anyways, apparently people in my circle of Frenster have read all about my blog! Ehehe..Got back to work today and the first thing that J told me was..”Meg! Now i know why you are so pissed with your man yday!” I was like alarmed and J had this cheeky smile! Hmm..i was wondering..okay the only place you would have known before i told you was thru my blog coz thats the only channel where I “broadcast” to the whole world! ;P So the conversation goes like this..

I: Eh, you read my blog issit?
J: No lah..i met up with V yday and we were just causally talking and she mentioned that you were so poor thing..boyfren overseas and all he missed about is his car…
I: oh..i see…ya lor..am so super pissed!!!

And following that, N came by my table and said “I miss my car!” Well, so bascially all my frens who are in my loop or not would have read what i have written but guess wat?! The male lead of this whole saga is not even aware of this!! ahaha..Well, he does know that i have a blog but he doesnt know the addy of it so theres no way he can visit this blog!! hehe..:P Kinda sad huh? A good place for him to find out what his bb..or “I do not miss you so much as much as my car” gf really feels huh? ;P Oh well, at least he still calls me every nite to talk to “I do not miss you so much as much as my car” gf…which is ME..to update me on how hes doing there…so at least i am not missed as much but still remembered! Hah!

Just got down the phone with my B who is now on some overseas exercise…Well remember how i mentioned about being pissed with him earlier on? Somehow the pissness just wen away after i spoke to him and right now, i actually feel sad…:( He further mentioned to me about his overseas stint in Taiwan that it has been confirmed and he would be leaving in August..:( *Sob sob* Seriously i dont really know what will happen then..yesh i do have friends who have relationships that worked out when both parties are apart from each other but there was a promise made from both parties that both parties would stay committed to each other..as for us, well no such promise was made yet..not sure whether my b would want to make this promise since he did tel me “to keep my options open” when he is away..so wat does this mean? This would only mean that no committment was made…and i know where he is comin from since we never know what would happen but seriously if a committment was made, there would be some kind of results yah?

He is only gone for like what 4 days and i am already missing him..i guess i have grown so attached to him now which could only spell trouble…if he is really gone for a year long, what would things become? Seriously i dont really know..I really wonder what is the winning formula for my frens who have maintained the long distance relationship till they got married….I really wonder..

I dont really know what would become of us…maybe i should give it up now to save myself from all the pain that would come in due time…I dont wish to go thru that pain yet again..Once is enuff for me…Giving it up earlier would make the pain less painful as compared….But again, if you dont try, how would you know that it would never work out? Maybe i should get him to promise some kind of committment so that mine and his time would not be wasted…

Whatever it is..my heart just aches now…it hurts like before…

Well jus realize that it had been a month long since i last posted anything on my blog! Gosh thats a really really long time..Guess i had been so busy with my Corporate Planning at work that i totally lost all the free time that i had to that..*sighs*

Anyways, at this very moment i am actually recuperating at home from my flu and fever..*sighs* So just thought i’ll come online for some complaints!! ahaha And at this very moment, my dear B is actually overseas for his exercies and would only be back like next month..Well, i do miss him tons and lots until i spoke to him on the phone yday..Hmm…somehow this morning i woke up not feeling that i miss him tons and lots anymroes? Remember when i mentioned about him going for his overseas stint for at least a year or so later this year? Well, he told me that this is actually more or less confirmed so he would be going…Insecurities? Well you can said that i do have some of these right now..would our relationship work out with the long distance thingy in mind? Seriously i dont really know..I do have faith but again, a single guy alone out there and especially in Taiwan where the mei meis there kinda throw themselves at Singaporean guys..well gal, do you think i would have security in mind?

And to make things worse, last nite he actually sorta told me something about missing his car etc..Apparently he is a member of the brand of car that he drives so he related this to me:

B: I was just talking to person X about the following “I already miss my baby”..
Person X: Wah..so fast already and you miss your gf..
B: Eh im not talking about my gf but my car..

Gosh! How would you feel when your Supposedly-to-b your baby said that? OMG..boy was i pissed so i told him “Oh..so someone misses the car than his gf huh? “Aiyoh…its not like that lah…you are a different kind of miss and i can talk to you mah..but i cant talk to my car..” Boy talk about covering yourself up with excuses..Excuse me, that totally fails as an excuse! To think that Miss Maddy here actually loses to a car?!! Goodness sake..i cant believe it..well, i know what they meant by car being a man’s baby etc but hey this is too much lor…and to think that i misses him so much over here and all he can think about is HIS CAR?!!! What the hell??!

And he has to make things worse by saying that he went to some pub in that location he was in and all the dancers etc..hey what is he trying to do man? I was a bit pissed man..and he told me that he didnt do anything..he was looking elsewhere when those gals were dancing next to him..ya rite..dont bull with me man..he thought i’m what? a little girl who just gotten himself a bf? Ya rite…from here, it just makes me come to the conclusion that all men are the same and to think that i even tame myself when i got attached to him? Less partying..heh! And he told me that he would not forget about me when he goes to Taiwan for his year long stint..seriously i began to doubt that, thinking that alll the temptations are outta there…

Faith? Trust? Commitment? Seriously i do have issues with them..Do they even exist these days? Maybe they do..and maybe they do exist in mine…just for me to discover as time goes by..