My heart will and shall b broken once again?
It is 8 April today and 11.55am..8 more days and my baby will be back from Taiwan..Well we sorta had a chat about his overseas posting last nite over MSN and it dint turn out quite alrights..From the conversation, i kinda got the feeling that he wasnt sure about us..coz he kept saying that you will never know what will happen in 2 years’ time so he didnt want to give any promise..To me, i feel that if you have that uncertainty door open in your heart, then things will happen..but if you are sure, the risk of things happening will be lower..
I do agree that 2 years is a long time and sure, you wouldnt know what will happen then..Look at what happened to my 5 years’ one..but somehow if you are sure, then the risk of things happening are seriously much lower..I have been through that so i know…
Well i dont blame him for being unsure since we kinda got together only for a few months and wanting to make that commitment is tough..BUt hey you are going for 2 years and probably we would only see each other for like a few times durng this period, cant you just give me that commitment? To him, he just does not want to give any lifetime commitment with the worry that what if things did not turn out well, then he would be wasting my time? Seriously, right now i feel even more insecure with him giving me nothing…So what should i do in this 2 years if there is no commitment nothing? What if i am foolishly waiting for him here while he has found someone there or something?
I am willing to wait for him to come back even though i know this is a really long and tiring process..i do hve colleagues at the moment going thru the same thing..but somehow i guess there was some sorta an agreement or comimitment given..BUt if he is not willing to give me any sorta of commitment, how can i feel secure when he is there for 2 years?
This time..my heart might be broken again….and i hate it! I hate this kind of having my heart being broken once again..When will the day where my heart will not be broken again?
