The New Year..
Happy New Year everyone! hee hee..well, its the 7th day of the new year so my wishes must have come late..oh well, been so lazy to post anything on my blog over the past week since the new year started..my new year started off quite quiet though..dinch have the big bash as i thought i would have coz all my frens were like spending the NYE quiet after a happening nite on Christmas Eve..hee hee..;P Had a gf who was in town after being married to the States so was just catchin up with her and some other gfs..:)
And spent last Sat tanning under the sun and enjoying some quiet time alone at the beach..thinking abt stuff and got myself totally burnt before the rain sets in much later! ahah..:p
Oh well, cant really remember who asked me abt my relationship but the question was..”Have you thought of what will happen after the grace period is up? What if he really does what you tell him, would you really take things as they were? Is that really what you want in life?” At that time, that really sets me thinking and pondering..Seriously i didnt think that further..probably in my mind, i have always been telling myself that he will never do anything during this grace period to make things beta for us or even me..so dinch even think so much…so when one of my gfs asked me that, i was taken aback by surprise..totally clueless of what i should do..is that really the life i want? Is that what i really choose to lead my life? Well, i havent quite think abt that really..Future? What does my future hold? Seriously i dont really know..always thought that i would have a wonderful future..(well, i used to have it till i totally blew it off..) Guess things aint really tt great for me..
Or like wat my gf said that i do have a choice to make my future better but i am the one who doesnt want to..Sighs..seriously i really dont know..@ times, i just wondered why i always end myself in dear shit and nothing else? Moving from one hole to another..that just seems to work for me all the time..or is that my life? Why cant my future just be there for me and i just walk into it..rather than having to make all the choices..Oh well..
But i still remember one sms sent to me by a really dear gf, “Wishing you all the best in love and luck for the new year..” hee hee..and something like lets not get ourselves hurt in the new year..ahah..how true is that and would that really works? I dont know..
So whats after the grace period, Maddy? Well, i do not have an answer to that at this moment..
